This is the worst year of my life… One thing after another.

I’m so close to hoping the world ends this year.

Its too hard to cope with this pain.

I need to stop thinking love is like what I see in the movies…

It doesn’t help me

I read blogsecrets and cry to them when I’m sad… I hope that it makes me feel better afterwards.

But who am I nodding.

Everyday it will rain..

I would give up years of my life… YEARS. To have the love we had in the beginning.

But I’m thankful to have you. Because if you weren’t here I would be lost.

And everyday it will rain

I dont feel it anymore. I’m not in this for sex… I’m in this for your love. I know you are a busy man… but are you to busy to hold me like you use to and kiss me. To tell me how happy I.make you … just the sweet little things.

I’m terrified that you are not crazy about me anymore

That your used to me… That you need new excitement in your life that I cant give anymore.

I REALLY hope I’m wrong.

But I haven’t gotten any reassurance lately.

God. I’m so depressed.

Its this feeling. It makes my neck hairs stand. Send a devastating chill down my whole body… Then I instantly start crying.

I suffer from depression… and everyday I feel it getting worse and worse.

I wonder when the day will be…

When you look me in the eyes and tell me its enough. That I’m never gonna be what you want.

I wonder when my heart will have peace. When my insecurities are kicked down and I have nothing to fear. But as much as I say I don’t worry…. I’m lying. I fear you every waking moment of my life.

Maybe just maybe ill figure it out

Sometimes

I just wish I would never.wake up .